Category Archive: Personal

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When a lesson doesn't feel like it's sticking, the universe tries to make it more clear. Today's lesson – the #kleshas (obstacles to samadhi). The #yogasutras discuss the kleshas in book 2, naming them in sutra 3. I opened up to 2.5 today, which is about ignorance (of the Self, as suggested in Swami Satchidananda's commentary). I talked aloud to myself for 16 minutes thinking I was making videos. The first 9 minutes didn't record at all. Noticing this I fixed the recording issue, but the camera was pointing practically at the floor. In the second round, I reflected on all the obstacles – ignorance, egoism, attachment, aversion and clinging to bodily life. Particularly I noticed how much a dominant culture built around oppressive power structures such as #racism #homophobia and #transphobia make people like me (#queer #poc #transmen) even more firmly seized by these obstacles. Ignorance of Self leads to over Identification with the body/brain as self, leading to egoism and inviting attachments and aversion. We want things we are not and hate what we are, and in that hatred come to fear ourselves and each other, and to be trapped in a push/pull of allowing our wants and being put off by them. Detachment then for me at least has often come out of aversion of my wants, rather than from a lack of craving. The craving is still there, and it creates more aversion. Anyway, no video for my pontificating on the ego. ✌🏾 #svadhyaya #selfstudy

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